


The Voyeur

by Al_D_Baran



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Drabble, M/M, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, Self-Indulgent, True Love, clone shiro - Freeform, idk what to tag this, letting go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 16:27:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11718129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Al_D_Baran/pseuds/Al_D_Baran
Summary: "He loves him.But he’s not him."Spoilers for Season 03





	The Voyeur

**Author's Note:**

> my head hurts and idk i was feeling sappy abt all this clone shit ok

As soon as he learns the truth, Shiro – or _not_ Shiro, but who else can he be if not who he thinks he’s always thought he is? –, everything he knows feels wrong. As if stolen. He feels like a thief even more when he sees the real him, the softness of his smile when he looks at who he loves.

He loves him.

But he’s not him. He’s not himself.

It’s an odd sensation to watch yourself be held by the one you love. He sees Shiro, wrapped up in Keith’s embrace, their eyes closing as they breathe in each other. Maybe it’s Keith’s sharp nose that told him something was off. He’s always had a better sense of smell than most, perhaps because he was Galra, he knows he’s realized not long after they learned of his origins.

And he remembers, clearly, that even through the shock, all he could think of, during that very moment, was that not even this could change how much he loved and cared for Keith.

It feels intensely real now when he looks at them.

He’s the fake and he knows.

There’s some things missing in his head.

Even the Galras couldn’t change how much they love Keith. They are both the same person, with the same thoughts, memories, actions… or almost. Keith could always tell that he wasn’t who he loved. And it hurt to be rejected by the one he’d always loved, to remember the times they had held each other and to feel the heartbreak, made only more twisted because Keith _does_ love him.

Keith loves Shiro and it’s so ingrained in him, so deep, such a core part of him that it’s the one thing Galra cloning has kept intact. Even if he doesn’t remember his parents’ faces, even if he doesn’t know most of his childhood, even if he is missing some parts… it’s what he’s sure of. Part of him, too.

It only makes the heartbreak more real. Because it is there, shattering his heart to dust when Shiro pushes a lock of hair out of Keith’s eyes to look at him better.

It makes the memories of kissing Keith, in middle school, feel like he has no right to even look at them. Like he’s looking at something intimate that he didn’t do. But he remembers the way Keith’s eyelashes were thick and long, resting on his cheeks. He remembers when he cracked an eye open to look at him, relaxed and sweet, curled in his arms and happy, trusting and warm.

He feels like a voyeur.

He feels like a liar when he knows Shiro’s thought then that he was the luckiest boy alive, kissing the prettiest boy there was, his hands gripping Keith’s hoodie.

All these times he’s held him.

Not him.

All these times Keith smiled.

Not his smiles.

Those were never his.

The one thing he thought for sure belonged to him was never at all.

He feels like a pervert when he remembers their first time, Shiro’s fumbling with the condom, the awkward laughs that became giggles, the happiness. The sensation of being joined, hands laced together. It’s something he knows Shiro holds fondly, that he thinks of ever so often, a reassuring memory to have shared something special with Keith. It’s no loss of innocence, he knows he thinks, always, but a promise of something.

Something big.

He knows his soulmate is in love with someone else.

And he thinks exactly like this person.

And when he looks at them, still holding each other close, Shiro – the Shiro that isn’t Keith’s, he thinks, because who else can he be? –, he just knows. They made him exactly like him as treachery, forgetting or ignoring that Shiro, even if he doesn’t realize it himself, is someone who would put the sake of others before him, always. And especially the love of his life, the one’s always had, the one he remembers intricately. All his fears, hopes and dreams. The ones they had together.

He knows they plan to go back on Earth to a farm Shiro’s uncle promised to give him to him when he’d be old enough. Keith said he’d have wanted a pool and Shiro always thinks of how grand he’ll make it without ever telling Keith he plans to make the house exactly like he wants it to. They speak of children, too. Not names, not anything. But of having them around, of how it would be good to have a little one. Shiro always thinks Keith would look wonderful holding their child.

To have a family.

His future is someone else’s.

One thing is sure, is that he’s Shiro. And he knows he has to step away. He tears his eyes from the sight and walks away, content to know Keith will be happy.

At least, the one he loves will be happy. He knows Shiro will do everything to make him happy.

Even at the hands of someone else’s.

**Author's Note:**

> comments are better than kudos.


End file.
